


It’s Always You

by kaleleafs



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: All hurt no comfort, Angst, Everyone Needs A Hug, Hurt Tony Stark, I cried while writing this, If You Squint - Freeform, Maybe - Freeform, Nebula is a Good Bro, Not A Fix-It, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Team Iron Man, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric, i wrote this before i saw endgame just saying, not team Cap friendly, slight Steve/Tony - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 12:20:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20435924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaleleafs/pseuds/kaleleafs
Summary: When I drift off, I will dream about you. It's always you.





	It’s Always You

**Author's Note:**

> does it count as a spoiler if i wrote this before i even saw endgame? nope, it absolutely does not

It's classic, really. There are only a few things that Tony Stark fears: large amounts of water, Pepper Potts and space. Of course, that's where he'd end up. In space. Alone. Well, not alone. He has Nebula, but how much can he trust a former self-proclaimed daughter of Thanos?

They've been working on the ship for what could be weeks, maybe months. Tony can't keep track of the time in space-- it seems like it doesn't exist at all. That's why he's taken to keeping track of the things that did exist, even if with every day they become a bit harder to remember.

1\. He is Iron Man.

2\. His best friends are James Rhodes, Pepper Potts and Steve Rogers.

But that can't be right, can it? Didn't Steve leave and take the rest of the vigilante Avengers with him? Siberia. Right, Siberia was a thing.

3\. Steve chose Bucky Barnes.

4\. Steve put his shield in my heart.

5\. Steve is gone.

6\. Peter is gone.

7\. Who isn't gone?

The list gets old fast and Tony isn't sure if he can bear making it back to earth only to find out everyone he once cared about is gone, turned to dust at the snap of some alien's fingers. He doesn't have the effort to tell everyone he told them so, barely has the effort to keep his eyes open.

Everything is darker, or maybe that's just how it looks in space. He just wants to close his eyes because he's so hungry and so tired and can he just catch a god damn break? And, sure, maybe his head feels fuzzy but that's nothing that can't be solved with some sleep, right?

So with one last glance at the bleak walls of his spaceship-home, Tony lets his eyes fall shut into the darkness.

\- - - - - -

When Tony wakes, it's to a strong jolt shooting him across the floor of the ship.

The ship.

He's on his feet faster than he should be as dizziness overtakes his vision. Even as he calls for Nebula, he notes that everything looks the same. It's dark and there are stars— so space. Great.

"Nebula?"

"Tony." Her voice is as stoic as always but after spending time so close with her, he hears the tone for what it is— relief. "Tony, we made it."

And, at second glance, it is dark but not normal space pitch black. And there are stars but Tony doesn't think he could touch them if he stepped out of the ship— they're too far away.

"We can't be... there's no way. We're.." Tony blinks, hunger and dehydration making him border-line delirious.

"Earth," Nebula confirms even as she takes the wheel and directs them towards the lights of the city. They're beautiful. Tony never thought he'd see them again. "Where to, Stark?"

Tony doesn't even hesitate.

"Home," he breathes, face glued to the window. "Take me home."

He's not sure what he was expecting Earth to look like now. Maybe like the deserted lands of Titan— barren, dry and unforgiving. He certainly wasn't expecting the Avengers facility to look exactly as he designed it all those years ago— untouched, sleek and a reminder of everything he's lost.

And he's definitely not sure what he thought was going to happen when the ship touched down and he took his first shaky step onto the the grass (grass, isn't that amazing?).

Maybe he never expected to make it back at all.

He wasn't expecting to immediately be wrapped up in a familiar embrace smelling of clean laundry, military warehouses and home. He couldn't let himself expect this while he was lost in space. And if Tony, half out of his mind and delirious, let's Rhodey hold him up as his knees buckle and tears fall freely from his eyes, neither of them mention it.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" Rhodey's voice sounds as wrecked as Tony feels but he wants nothing more than to drown himself in the familiar sound. "You ride with me, alright?"

And he's laughing and crying because damn this is Afghanistan all over again and maybe he should be suspicious but Rhodey's arms feel nice around him and Tony can't question good things right now.

Rhodey keeps his hand on Tony's back as he's passed off to Pepper. Brilliant, always put-together Pepper who's eyes are rimmed red and hair is tangled in a messy ponytail. Tony doesn't think she's ever looked more beautiful.

"What?" Tony croaks, throat raw from crying and finally being able to breathe. "You really hate job hunting that much?"

Rhodey and Pepper refuse to let him go as they walk him inside, and that's alright with Tony. He's entirely grateful for the support and physical contact he's missed for so long.

The sight that awaits him inside is far better than Tony dreamed it would be. It's selfish, yes, to be grateful when half of the universe is gone, when Peter is gone, but Tony has never claimed to be above selfishness.

Because what else is he supposed to feel but pure, unmatched relief when Bruce is pulling him into a warm embrace saying thank god, Tony, I thought you were dead and Natasha has tears in her eyes, emotionless mask missing from her face as she runs her hands through his too greasy hair affectionately.

"I'm so sorry, kotehok, so sorry. Forgive me."

As if he could ever hold a grudge against her after this.

Even Thor, the picture of grief and loss claps him on the back hard enough to make him stumble and Tony has never missed anything more than the feeling of being part of a team.

But every team has a leader and he's there, too. Granted, he looks older than Tony can ever remember him being, a beard covering his once-shaven face creating the image of rugged despair. Tony is past denying the way his heart contracts in his chest, over pretending it's fear or anger or regret.

Because out of everyone Tony thought of when he was alone in space, he never could bring himself to think of Steve. Steve as a pile of dust, holding him tight condemning him with words of why didn't you save us Tony? Why didn't you do more? Steve, broken and bloody fighting until the last breath like Tony knows he would.

But he's not dead, not some unrecognizable pile of ash. He's here and hell, if he isn't a force to be reckoned with.

"I'm glad you're back, Tony."

His voice is familiar but the pain shouldn't be there, Steve doesn't deserve that. And as Tony looks around the room to find it empty of one James Buchanan Barnes, he wonders if all of this time he and Steve have been fighting over nothing at all. All that time they wasted only to end up in this place with even less than they started with.

"We need you. If we're going to fix this, we need you, Tony."

It's simple, Tony thinks. It's always been this simple.

"Do you trust me?" They're his first words since he's walked inside the compound but Steve has never looked more sure.

"I do."

"Then let's do this."

\- - - - - -

It's a shaky landing when Nebula safely pilots the ship to the ground at a little over two in the morning. Not that it matters, really. The lights in the Avengers compound turn on instantly.

She's tired, so tired, but there's no resting now. Not when she's faced with the confused faces of the Avengers, or what's left of them, as soon as she exits the ship.

"Nebula?" It's Rocket, the damn raccoon her sister was so fond of that recognizes her first. "What the hell happened?"

"Where's Tony?"

She's not sure who asks the question, though she thinks it might be the tall colored man with contraptions on his legs. He looks worried, tired, defeated— she knows who he is instantly.

"You must be Rhodey," she tries smiling but it's more of a grimace. She's not sure she'll ever smile again. "He talked a lot about you."

His mouth opens, closes, then opens again. "Tony didn't... he? Gone?"

At that, Nebula stares at the ship. The ship she watched Stark slave over for weeks, fitting every part back to where it belongs, bending those that didn't to his will. Stubborn, Tony Stark was stubborn.

"He was injured in battle," Nebula starts, recalling the last weeks of the man she grew to admire. "Thanos threw an entire moon at him, ultimately only wounding him by using his own technology against him. But still, he didn't let it stop him. He fixed the whole ship, determined to get us back."

"Back where?" It's the tall blonde this time, Steve, Nebula is sure.

"Here, home. To you," Nebula does form a sad smile this time, more for the sake of the rest of the team than Steve himself. "He said it had always been you all. The team."

There's a wrecked sob and Nebula thinks it might come from the strawberry blonde, though the redhead seems on the verge of breaking as well.

"There's no way he's dead. Not Stark. Not Tony," the Captain states, though his wavering voice betrays his fear.

"Do you know what oxygen deprivation does to a man, Captain? Every day, you lose a little more of your mind. I watched Tony hallucinate a thousand different ways he'd meet you all again, watched him fall apart just as many. And still, he never gave up. He was convinced you'd come for him, though I suppose he was wrong."

"But-"

"He said a piece of him died with the kid," Nebula's voice drops as she remembers Tony's guilt-infused heartache. "But he was holding out for you."

"I'm so sorry, kotehok," the redhead whispers to the sky, and Nebula shakes her head.

"He would've loved to hear you say that, dreamt it more than once."

"What do you suppose we do?" The Captain whispers, no longer trusting his voice to carry him. "Earth has officially lost her best defender. We've lost our best chance at fixing all of this."

"He said if he would've called, things would have been different," Nebula informs him as she walks by. "Lucky for us, Tony had a plan. Do you trust him?"

"I do," Steve nods, heartbreak at odds with the stubborn resilience on his face. "I always have."

"Then we're in the endgame now."


End file.
